Empty nester 2 Love nest

survival Guide

We help empty nesters navigate this major life transition with clarity and grace so they can build even stronger relationships with themselves, partners and kids without being paralyzed by the fear of the unknown.

Rediscover Purpose

Greater Intimacy

Clearer Communication

Billy & Maryruth Mitchell your Power Couples Coaches

Eliminating Self-Limiting Beliefs for More Than 40 Years

Empty Nesters ​Survival Guide

Helping Couples Navigate Major Life ​Transitions with Clarity & Grace

Rediscover Purpose

Greater Intimacy

Clearer Communication

New Freedom

Billy Mitchell

Dedicated to my Soulmate the

Magnificent Maryruth,

The True Power in our Relationship

Table of ​Contents

About The Author

Introduction

Tip 1: Look Within

Tip 2:Walk a Mile in their Moccasins

Tip 3:It's not Your Partners Fault

Tip 4: Never Let the Sunset on an Upset

Tip 5: Keep the Love Alive

Tip 6: Listening is Job One

Tip 7: Awareness

Tip 8: Know when to Walk Away

Tip 9: Keep Your Word

Tip 10: Communication the Master Key

Bonus: Take Time for Yourself

About the Authors

We pray this small book opens your mind to new ways of being in relationship!

Navigating 40 years of marriage, Maryruth and I have faced our share of life's trials and transformations. Maryruth overcame a turbulent youth, marked by the loss of her mother at 13 and becoming an unwanted stepchild. She channeled her resilience into creating a nurturing home for our young family and later excelled in her career, managing both retail sales and a methadone clinic.

Our life took a turn when we became empty nesters. Maryruth felt a loss of identity, sparking a reevaluation of our relationship. We delved into what sustains a long-term partnership, rekindling our passion and deepening our connection.

My own journey, from a troubled childhood and overcoming personal demons, has culminated in spiritual awakening and professional training. An ordained minister with multiple certifications, I specialize in effective communication and relationship synergy.

Together, we offer empty nesters the insights and tools needed for rediscovering yourselves and revitalizing your relationship. Our coaching focuses on nurturing deeper connections, fostering intimacy, and designing a fulfilling next chapter in your love story.

“The unexamined life is not worth living” ​Socrates

True happiness begins with a journey within…

Each of us has had life experiences which have ​formed our views, beliefs and positions in life.

The only way to know what is really running our ​lives is to take an objective look inside at the words ​we think.

Are those words Empowering or debilitating? Do ​those words add to your power and energy, or do ​they remind you of all that’s gone wrong and how ​you should fix it?

Tip One... ​Look Within

We thrive when we take personal responsibility

for our behavior and are willing to change.

Review your views, beliefs and the positions.

The person closest to you can give you a unique ​perspective of you, one you may not have seen ​before, if allowed, to be completely honest

without repercussions for their insight.

The clearer you are on what is going on inside, the ​easier it is to take actions that are empowering, ​supportive and make a bigger impact.

It’s not your relationship, it’s outside stuff. It’s not ​your partner's fault. You can talk it out, let your ​partner know how frustrating it was. You can ​even tell them all the scenarios you ran down in ​your head on the way home, about how you ​would have really told them off.

But remember it’s not about them; they are your ​support system not a whipping post or sounding ​board. Allow their perspective and see how they ​might have handled the day. You have an ​opportunity to get an outside view, get closer to ​your partner and begin to realize the power of ​two Multiplied.

Tip Two…

Walk a Mile in Their Moccasins

It is so rare these days for a person to step back ​and look at anything from another's perspective. ​We each have our own set of views, beliefs and ​positions, built up over a lifetime.

Invest the time with your partner to get their point ​of view. If we go into a discussion without stepping ​out of ourselves to witness how our partner feels, ​or what they think about the topic, we are limiting ​our growth and the power of two multiplied.

Yes I realize it’s not easy, especially when you're ​as perfect as I am. Thinking someone else might ​have a view that could be more empowering, or ​God forbid be right.

But this is key to personal development and real

growth in relationships.

Step Outside Yourself

to see another perspective on any situation and ​you have an opportunity to not only learn ​something new, you might even get closer in the ​process. Walking another's path can give us a ​bigger view of life, greater health, happiness & ​harmony in our lives.

Tip Three...

It’s Not Your Partner's Fault

We have an opportunity in each interaction with ​our partners. Will it be Positive, Empowering and ​Supportive, or negative and demeaning?

Let’s face it some days just suck, nothing goes the ​way we expect, the boss is on us about the report ​that’s late, the dog ate our homework and we ​broke a shoelace. All this can stack up to a blow ​out with the one we love.

Sure you say, "No way I would never take the ​frustrations of the day out on my partner, not me, ​no way!"

A journey within is the first step in self ​discovery and movement towards a ​New Life. One that is healthier, happier ​and more powerful than any you’ve ​experienced before!

Once we know who we are and what ​makes us do what we do, we can begin ​to see how our thoughts and actions ​affect those to whom we are closest. ​With a bit of Conscious Awareness we ​can begin to live A Life Unlimited!

Tip Four…

Never let the Sunset on an Upset

Have you done this one, you battled about ​some nonsense or something real (it’s all ​nonsense if I’m battling with my partner). You’ve ​battled it out and nothing is resolved and ​nothing has changed. You're just as frustrated ​and angry as when you started.

JUST STOP IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes of course you are right, they are wrong and ​if they would just listen to your side they would ​instantly see how intelligent and deep your ​ideas are and of course you are RIGHT!

SO WHAT!!!

Is your being right worth your life?

I learned years ago that I can be RIGHT or I can ​be ALIVE. I Chose Life.

Whatever the argument, whatever the position ​it’s not worth it.

Let it go!

Just for the night at least. The problem is that ​going to sleep with that on our minds will affect ​the next day and the rest of our relationship. ​The mind won’t let go, unless we do, and then ​sometimes only with claw marks in it.

It’s our job to be aware of our thoughts, ​Because those thoughts can become things. ​The simple saying “What you think about, You ​bring about” tells us that what we focus on ​Grows.

Remember how the voice in our head runs ​through all the things we were going to tell ​that driver that cut us off. That’s what it will

do all night long while you sleep. Imagine ​what it could come up with, or don’t, it can be ​quite scary.

LET IT GO

If you must pick it up in the morning, talk ​about it with a clear head and an open heart. ​Because this is your partner, the person ​you’ve committed your life to, they deserve ​your BEST!

Tip Five…

Keep the Love Alive

Day-to-day life can become a grind or it can be a ​joy, but we must remember we are in it for the ​long haul. We can get so wrapped up in making a ​living we forget to have a life.

I realize work takes up a large portion of what we ​do each day and love it or hate it, it’s what we do. ​But don't allow all that to take away from our ​home life. Home should be the sanctuary, a place ​of refuge, from the battles of the day. Being so ​focused we can miss the bigger picture. Our ​Relationship is what we do it all for, to create a ​better life for those we love.

But if we forget to nurture our relationship it can ​wither and die!

Date Night is Key!

Remember when you first got together with ​your partner? If you were anything like me, I ​could barely think of anyone or anything else. ​When we were apart I only thought about ​seeing them again. What next could I do for ​them, thinking of them, caring about them. ​Then life happens and all that goes out the ​window.

Or Does It?

Plan a date night once a week, or once a month,

but put it in your calendar and no excuse is

good enough to miss it.

It will remind you of the magic that was dating

and let your partner know they are your priority.

That your relationship matters!

Tip Six...

Listening is job one

Many years ago Ford came out with the slogan “Quality is Job One”

In relationships Listening is Job One.

Not the way you’re used to listening, but listening in a way that empowers your partner and strengthens your relationship. Most people spend their time listening, getting ready for what they want to say.

Have you noticed when you're in a conversation

someone makes a comment and you have a

great story you must tell them when it’s your

turn? Or they mentioned that one time in band

camp and you're lost in history and not even

present for your partner?

Tip Seven... Awareness

Awareness is the Greatest Agent of Change…

Eckhart Tolle

Living in our day to day we may not stop long enough to See. Whenever we connect with our partner we need to be aware. Of course if we are walking on a street at night alone we are hyper aware of our surroundings. Looking ahead, behind, side to side, I mean we are on it.

What if we took just a bit of that Hyper Awareness and invested time to become aware of how our partner is feeling. You can see it on their face, the way they move, or are distracted.

Read the Room

Have you ever walked into a room and felt ​something weird? Something is just not quite right ​and we don’t know what it is but we can feel ​something. The energy is off.

Awareness is key in making relationships work. ​The last thing I want to do is come in with all this

or that, when my partner has a situation that’s ​troubling them.

We know when our loved one is off key, when their ​day sucked! If we make the effort to become ​aware, we can lessen the troubles and allow them ​the opportunity to release whatever pent up ​emotions or troubles with the day they may have ​had.

Tip eight…

Know When to Walk Away

Often we get so invested in our position that we

are willing to fight for the right to be right.

To Hell with everything else…

That may be the time to walk away. If we are unable ​to take a step back and look within, or not willing to ​listen, only willing to be RIGHT.

No you don’t get to use this one as an excuse to

get out of the relationship. If you’re in it to win it ​you’re not going anywhere.

But it may be time to walk away until you can ​remember why you’re in a relationship in the

first place. Before you do or say that one thing ​that you can’t take back. Many of us have done it ​or said it, that one thing, that they just won’t ​forget and it comes back to haunt us, over and ​over again.

Walk away and take a breather. You can go back ​into the discussion with a clear head and an ​open mind.

You can focus on the solution, rather than the ​problem.

Remember this person is the love of your ​life, the person who chose you above all ​others.

Tip Nine…

Keep Your Word

It seems easy these days to not think much about ​our Word. So many don’t seem to care that they ​told you they would see you there and never ​showed up. Rather than tell you they didn’t want ​to go, or something else came up they didn’t

even call.

Frustrating yes, disappointing, absolutely. But ​have you done it?

No not me of course I always keep my word, I ​wish.

But I do my best to keep the word I give

especially to my partner.

In a relationship we can build a trust account. ​Think about it as if we have this bank account ​and each time we keep our word a little more ​trust goes into the account. It builds slowly, but ​over time you get a good stash of trust built up.

That is if you Keep Your ​Word!

It takes time and consistent honesty to build ​that account, but we can drain it in moments. ​By not keeping our word, no not even an out ​and out lie, just not doing what we said we ​would, is enough to empty our Trust Account!

Tip Ten… ​Communication ​ the

Master Key

The bottom line is communication, if you're not ​talking you're not in a relationship. You must ​communicate your feelings, your wants and ​desires; all of it, because you are partners and ​there may be no other safe place for you to be ​able to tell your truth. Also the power that comes ​from fostering Open, Honest, Heart level ​communication creates a synergy that is not ​possible in any other relationship.

There are multiple parts to communication, of ​course what we say. My words need to be sweet ​as I may be forced to eat them. Which tells me I ​need to watch what I say and How I say it. ​Especially when the Heart is involved the heart ​can get dented or broken with the wrong word, or ​energy behind the word.

Also I must have intention behind my words. I ​need to invest in your hearing me. Yes, it’s my job ​to be clear that you got what I had to say.

Next is listening. I must be able to suspend my ​position, my opinion, or my beliefs to hear what is ​said, not what I think was said.

invest yourself in your communication skills, by

being present, listening to your partner, their

feelings, thoughts and ideas. By doing this, your

relationship will become Stronger, deeper and

more Fun than you ever thought possible and

you will begin living...

A Life Unlimited.

Bonus Tip…

Take Some Time for Yourself…

We can get so wrapped up in life that we forget ​to invest time in ourselves. It’s almost as if we

are cheating our partner if we feel we need a ​little alone time. But the reality is, if we don’t take ​the time, our relationship suffers.

This is where we drop in the Airline story.

Each time you get on an airline there is always ​that flight attendant standing in the front of the ​plane telling you about the safety rules, the ​bathrooms and the exits.

If you listen long enough, you’ll find them telling

you that in case of trouble an oxygen mask will

fall from the ceiling.

They then tell you to put your mask on first. Yes

you must save yourself first. It seems counter

intuitive, I want to be sure my partner and

children have their masks on so they will

survive.

But if I don’t put my mask on first, I won’t be

able to help anyone because I won’t have the

oxygen I need to Survive.

Here’s the deal: most of us need some alone time

now and again. It is OK for you to take the time

for yourself. You need to put your mask on first.

How can you be the best you for your partner if

you don’t have the oxygen to survive.

It’s not Selfish, it's Self ​Preservation.

Whether it’s getting up earlier in the AM, or just ​setting aside time when your partner knows ​you're taking a moment so that you may be more ​present for them!